Tuesday, August 14, 2007

Rat-a-too-ee

I'm cheap, we rent movies, rarely do we go to the big screen and break the old piggy bank. Our big movie nights are rentals, popcorn at home or the drive in with a cooler full of snacks, mean Mom.
Recently I lost my focus and my mind and let my hubby talk me into going to the movies to see the little rat flick, Ratatouille. We went to the 7 pm show, with a $20 gift card in tow, should of mortgaged the house for a flick with a mouse, okay rat but that didn't rhyme.
Got there paid to get in and threw down the gift card and the total still threw me into a crank.
We asked the kids, "Do you have to pee".
"No Mommy" in unison.
Okay off to theatre 4, we find a seat next to the isle, I know I am going to the washroom at some point in the 2 hour span. Hubby sent me to the snack bar, oh help me.
I stand in line with Jen who wants one of everything, I am adding up 2medium popcorn and two drinks, crap, over $20 , no, no way !! There is a $12.50, large popcorn and two large drinks, that will be the one we are going to chow down. We get the loot,popcorn, the drinks, coke and the all yummy sugary Kool-aid for the monkeys. The drinks were so huge, are they kidding me, have they not seen Michael Moore's super sized????
The lights go down movie begins the show was priceless, the movie was okay. The show being Jillian, first time for her in a theatre,. Jill screamed WOW, so loud the audience was in stitches, she ran a commentary(a lot in her own language)throughout the whole show.
When she wasn't talking, she was drinking the syrup. I was sitting watching the cute little rat, almost getting into it, when a funny warm sensation took over my thighs, oh ya, she peed a super size , yes on to my lap.
Running out of the theatre to the van, stripped her and crap, no change of clothes in the diaper bag, am I the world's most unorganized Mother, yes!!!
Started the green machine, cranked on the heat, threw her pants on the gear shift and blew out those babies dry. It was over a 100 friggin degrees in the van, I feel like I'm having hot flashes . I dress monkey and away we go .
Walking in people stare,the crotch of my pants are soaked ,walking in with a very dry child.
So $60 later, I am wet, cranky and can't sit still, sound like anyone you know.........

15 comments:

nikki said...

That is hilarious...still laughing! Oh my word! Sounds like money well spent! ha ha

tundrachica said...

Priceless??? Sounds like it!

Ms. Dragonfly said...

That was fantastic!
I mean I feel bad for you an all, but I love justhow 'normal' you are. We saw that movie too, no accidents for us, but they happen other days, like last night when he went to go pee on the toilet but his weiner was not inthe toilet, so pee all over the floor.
Yep, good times.

theghelertertwins.blogspot.com said...

Still laughing on tossing the panties over the gear shift! Lol. I hate going to the movie theater and for all the reasons you just mentioned. It's damn spensive'. Great post.... Too funny.

Doris & Dan said...

That is the funniest!! Thx for sharing your adventures in cinema viewing.

Keep smilin!

Day Dreamer said...

Oh, I am laughing WITH you, right?!! Not just at?

Oh, who am I kidding! That was fun fun funny.

I've so been there. I've so bought the T-shirt! And after three, you'd think I'd learn. There is no way you are the most un-organized mom in the universe. I got that nomination long ago!

Glinda said...

**Glinda in stitches**

I would have never thought to turn the heater on, that's probably why I don't have kids yet; I think you have to take classes to become that ingenius. Way to go...

I love the idea of going to the movies, but when I get there my Rainman comes out and I get bent out of shape when people sit anywhere near me crunching popcorn; happens every time, but I still go.

redmaryjanes said...

Oh man, I'm so sorry. I can sympathize. I'm laughing over here, but only because I can relate and for once it didn't happen to me : )

secret agent said...

HAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!
bet you'll be stickin with netflix a bit longer!

a&mg said...

I can't imagine why you don't go out to movies more often!!

HBO sounds good...

crazylady said...

Clearly you all smoked crack prior to going to going to the movies. WHAT were you thinking? A 2 hour full length movie? Jill's sans diaper?
HELLLLLLLOOOOO. McFly? Anyone in there?
Stick to the rental and illegal downloads.

A Special Family said...

Oh I am laughing, I really am. And oddly, it made me want to go to the movies!!!

Sam said...

Kerri,
Please send me an email. I have something for you! (Scared?)
Sam
drewnsam@woh.rr.com

Salome's Mom said...

You resourceful girl! I am sorry to laugh but you are too funny.

Jewels of My Heart said...

ROFLOL..... I am sorry.... I know it wasn't funny for you.... but for us........ HYSTERICAL!
thanks for sharing your National Lampoon's Trip To The Movies!