The New Zoo Revue

This weekend we set out on an overnight outing , I know , I must of had a brain fart and forgot what the last trip was all about. We had planned to go to the Toronto Zoo and stay in Oshawa then the following day we were meeting up with good friends we travelled to China with.
With the green machine packed to the roof, we headed to the infamous Ontario autobahn, the 401. The first animal we can review are the parrots, they squawked from the time we left the driveway. "Are we there yet", "I want to get out of my seat", "I want to watch a different movie", and the famous"I'm Hungry". I threw the parrots some crackers, they seem to quiet down until we hit our FIRST traffic jam, sitting for what seemed like hours the parrots began to fight, hitting pecking and pulling out feathers.
We finally arrived paid for parking and walked the mile from the lot to the zoo. The first zoo animal to review are the monkeys, the girls at this point are hanging off us they are fighting and swinging on the front entrance gates, yes we are still trying to pay for admission.
Jennifer fro some reason turned into our second animal, the Tasmanian devil, she growled, snarled and did everything to try and annoy us to the point of the family not enjoying the trip.
After several warnings and timeouts we seen the third animal come out, it was Jillian as the laughing hyena, she was getting a smile out of her sister getting time outs which made the Tasmanian devil go in circles.
Mommy and Daddy are getting beyond annoyed we are furious, then came the last melt down, I blew, I asked my husband for the phone and said" Give me the phone number of the motel", he said it's in the van (mile away remember), great!!
I handed him the phone and said call 411, get the number and cancel we are going HOME!!!
He looked a little surprised but knows when I say something I back it up and he let his fingers do the walking, Jennifer is now the fourth animal, a slippery seal, I was trying to grab her in the middle of her meltdown so we could dart to the van so we could vacate as soon as possible. She was furious that the best part of her trip the motel had been cancelled.
I felt like a piece of crap doing this but I felt like it was necessary, I couldn't reward her bad behaviour with a special treat, so true to my words we are back on the 401 going west toward home.
Around 6pm, we decided the animals must be watered and fed so off to Swiss Chalet we go, the girls have both napped so I am feeling optimistic that we are going to be okay.
We get into the restaurant and so far so good, dinner came quickly and everyone was eating when all of a sudden the monkey has made another appearance!!
Jillian started to crawl on the back on the booth seat, making noises at the young couple not obviously parents and not wanting to have any company at their table. Trying to tame the monkey made her shriek and cry , after many tries the handlers decided to put her back in her cage, off to the van for her. A smiling sister ate her meal.
Off heading west we listened to Jillian scream for 1 hour, my spirited, persistent and stubborn child stopped as pulled in the drive way.
The last animal to be reviewed was the meanest, grouchiest animal, the bear , wishing she had of stayed in her hibernation this morning and avoided the zoo crowds.
GGRRRRRRRRRR..............