Monday, January 7, 2008

Pieces of the Puzzle.

During dinner tonight we had one of our unusual dinner conversations, when their are monkeys at the table expect the unexpected, LOL.
Jennifer opened with"Mom, babies don't come in packages, right, that's silly"
I said"Of course not, you know where they come from"
Jen smiling"Yes, they come from the Mom's womb, they sometimes come from the Doctor too"
I sound surprised "The Doctor?"
Jennifer Says "Yes the Doctor, he tells them it's okay and when to come out."
"Did I come form the Doctors, oh, ya I come from the orphanage"
I reply"Yes you came from the orphanage, were you were loved and taken care of until Mom and Dad brought you home to your forever family"
I could see the wheels turning and the look on her face, I waited for her to direct the conversation. It ended here for now, until the next time.

Lately Jennifer now 5 has been trying to put the pieces of her life puzzle together. There are lots of questions regarding birth, her orphanage, her BirthMom. I answer them all to the best of my ability always reinforcing how much her BirthMom means to us and how much we love her.
I tell her of the special nanny who she was attached to, I paint her imagination with the beauty of China.
But there are question I can't and never will be able to answer, this nearly take the breath from my body, it rips my heart and makes the pit of stomach flutter. This is something I hold secret for now inside me, until she can understand.
For now I make it simple, for now the questions are answered, for know it is enough...

14 comments:

Debz said...

UGGG! The thought of that puts knots in my tummy. I guess we'll all have to deal with those questions at one time in our lives...

Sam said...

You are doing an excellent job! I want to be like you when I grow up!

Mom2Boober-Do said...

I look so forward to these challenges, and helping her understand. you are doing an amazing job.

mommy24treasures said...

you are doing great. Jennifer is one smart cookie.
Hope now that routine set back in all is good for the week!

~Amy~ said...

hehe so funny!

maia said...

Beautifully written. I don't think this process can be disected too many times - it's an ongoing mystery, and one that will haunt all of us for our lifetimes.
btw - where did you get the year of the horse and year of the monkey pictures that you have on your sidebar? I love them.

crazylady said...

I guess the motto is KISS. Keep it simple stu.... well from what I have researched they say to keep the dialogue simple and age appropriate which is a challenge in knowing how much to say at once. And then of course, there's how to say it.
As long as we all use the words over and over then eventually it will sink in. Our girls are fighting daily over who has a Mommy and who has a Daddy.

Ms. Dragonfly said...

I hear you sister, loud and clear.
I feel their pain before they even know it is there.

Ps I tried to reply to your email, did you get it? Perhaps I'm in your trash bin ;)?

redmaryjanes said...

I think we all are nervous about facing those inevitable conversations. I guess I will be simple and direct too. I don't know, it makes me so sad.

Steffie B. said...

I pray I have the words for Sophia as well. I think you are doing fine, although I know it tears at your heart!

nikki said...

Tough questions...thanks for leading the way for us, momma.

Jonni, John & Sofia said...

What a truly special person you are Kerri. I love how eloquently you explain things to your daughter. You set a great example for all of us moms.

Hugs,]
Jonni
:)

Jewels of My Heart said...

I understand.......... it is so difficult at times that it about knocks the air out of you. You want to make everything ok.... to help them to understand how special, how miraculous and how loved they are. You are doing great. This summer was difficult with Nicholas.... the questions became more pointed, more difficult to answer.... but we got through it together and in my heart I know he is ok.... I find myself grieving for Hannah though because I have even less knowledge to share with her. I guess the most important fact that we can pass down to our children is that they are loved...... oh, how they are loved.... by God Himself, by their Mommy and Daddy and by their birth parents.... at the end of the day that is the most important...

Rony said...

I wonder when my girls will start asking. It scares the crap out of me. Not telling them, but explaining so that they understand and know how much their birth mommy loved them. Yeah, it takes my breath away when I think about it. You will do fine though. You always do.