Saturday, May 3, 2008

Today was the day..

Today was the day.
Today I was so proud.

Today was the day that Jillian had her first speech therapy appointment, this was huge for our family.
This was the first day that Jillian has been away from her Mom and was left with complete strangers, she has only been left with Grandparents.
I hardly slept last night, I was so worried about today and how she was going to react being left.
I spent the last couple of days reassuring her that she would there for a few hours and Mommy would come back and pick her up at lunch.
We got ready this morning, to say she was excited was an understatement. Jill got dressed, got on her coat , put her backpack on ,she was ready with a huge smile to boot.
I on the other hand had a feeling in the pit of my stomach, I was so nervous that I didn't even have a morning coffee.
We got there, settled in and it was time for me to leave. Jillian grabbed my leg with a death grip, screams, hysterics followed.
I picked her up, explained that she was going to be fine, she was going to have fun, make new friends and that Mommy would return. I set her down, told the therapist I was leaving. I said a quick goodbye and made an exit.
I could hear Jillian downstairs screaming and crying.
I got into my car and what was supposed to be a Mommy's morning full of fun shopping halted.
I broke into tears and sat and sobbed. This was one of the most difficult things I have ever had to do.
I drove to get a coffee, sat and gathered myself, tried to shop but my mind was on Jill the whole time.
Noon came and I picked her up, she ran to me with a huge hug. The therapist said she only cried for a few minutes, she was pretty quiet(that will change, LOL)but was responsive to their lesson.
Next week will be a whole different experience, I am so proud of Jillian today, this was a huge step for my baby girl.

18 comments:

Made in China said...

My daughter just started daycare 6 weeks ago. Every morning is torture for me as they have to pull her off of me becuse she is screaming and holding me so tight. It's enough to break a person's heart. I totally understand how you feel but glad to hear she did well despite the difficult seperation.

Fliss and Mike Adventures said...

Oh... that must have been so hard... we have to go through it at some stage... time for her to learn to be without mum... then having said this... when it is my turn... I too will be a bumbling mess... hehehehe... take care

Kelley said...

Everyone always tells me that it's so much harder on Mommies than on the children...and I truly believe it. It sounds like things really went well, though...hang in there! (I still have trouble leaving Chloe every school day.)

Dolores and Shawn said...

That must have been tough. It does sound like it was tough on both of you. At least she felt better after a few minutes and responsive to her lesson.

It'll get better.

Vivian M said...

Just think, by the time school starts she will a pro at this and it will get easier.
The first time I dropped Kerri off to preschool the only one crying was me. It was so difficult to let go, but picking her up was always the best experience!
Huge hugs to Jillian for her bravery and accomplishments! And to Mommy too!

kris said...

What a big step for her (on so many levels)- and it will get better sooner than you think, eventually she'll look forward to being there!
You both did great :O) (tears and all)!

OH MY #6 said...

next week WILL be better. shopping for sure!

Lea

that girl said...

That must have been so hard! I am proud of you for leaving to get coffee, I would have tried to insert myself into the lesson I'm sure -- not good. I know Jillian will start really looking forward to going, now that she understands what it's all about.

Bonnie'n'Clyde said...

Oh, that IS scary! What a brave girl!! Good for her!

Sam said...

The first time is hard for everyone, but especially YOU! It does get easier. I promise! I'm so glad Jill is in this program. She will do great!!!!

Steffie B. said...

Way to go Jillian.....and way to go Momma Monkey.....it's not easy to leave our babies upset. However, I do believe you did the right thing. Things will improve and Jillian will understand that you will indeed be back for her! Keep us posted on her progress!
Hugs....and I hope you have a great week! ;)

mommy24treasures said...

aww, I know it was so hard. I remember it well with Ryan. THat feeling is so awful... I am sure it will be no time and she will understand mommy will always be back. I am hopeful this is just what she needs and she excells!

nikki said...

It was a huge step for BOTH of you, Kerri...I can so relate to that heart-wrenching pain you went thru leaving her there as she cried!
I'm so glad that she didn't cry long and that the lesson went well...and that you did end up having some coffee. (for a minute, I was REALLY concerned!) hehe
Love you, girl! Good job to you both...

Julie said...

I am proud of Jillian, but I am also proud of you!! That was a hard thing for you, but knowing she was fine will give you the courage to send her again next time. Enjoy your moments to your self, it will help you be a better mom in the long run.

Love the clever new header!

redmaryjanes said...

I am proud of both of you. It's not easy, but I know that she will thrive in this new experience.

T & R McGrath said...

Oh Kerri, I cried while reading your post, it brought back my memories on the first day I had to leave Owen at daycare, he was beside himself and wouldn't let go of my leg screaming mommy please....It just broke my heart. But they do stop crying and now Owen runs into the center and when I leave he turns around to me and says "bye bye mommy"

I am sure next week will be so much better and you will be able to leave and go do a little shopping and have mommy time.

Hugs

Jonni, John & Sofia said...

Kerri,

I can imagine how scary this was for the both of you. It sounded like when all was said and done, it turned out wonderfully. I can imagine how proud of Jillian you are. You should be proud too, you both did great. :)

P.S. I also have never left Sofia with anyone else yet and I dread the day, but I know it is coming (sigh). I also love your new blog look. So cute!

Hugs,
Jonni

Debz said...

Good job Jillian and mommy too! It is always hard the first time but, the hardest part is over! I can't wait to hear her progress.