Friday, July 6, 2007

Na Na Na Boo

As Sen had wrote in one of her posts about parents pretending to ignore their children's full out, full blown temper tantrums, I had to smile.
This has been my life for the last while, Jilly -bean has been having some real doozies lately, compounded with some rude gestures, cute, very cute.
Now Jillian has always been my child who loves to test her boundaries, loves to have control and in my tormented mind loves to torture me. One incident in the early Spring I took her to the mall shopping, I should have known better as she had her crabby pants on the whole morning.
We enter the mall, she goes into a full blown, arm flailing tantrum and proceeds to throw herself on the floor and scream like she was being murdered.
There was a bench nearby so with coffee in hand I sat down and proceeded to pretend to ignore her, no it was not working for me, my blood pressure rose as people walked by in disgust of my devil-child throwing herself in an arched back position on the floor and turned her head frantically from side to side all the while screaming. At this point I couldn't take it anymore I tried to put my arm under her arched back and scoop her up when she let herself down and went limp noodle. I managed to pick her up and threw her over my shoulder as she is kicking me in the stomach, now at my boiling point, I out to the green machine and threw her into the car seat, just as I bent down to buckle her in she hauled off and whacked me in the nose, stars******, I am seeing stars*******. Blood is pouring, I grabbed an old Kleenex from the console and hold my nose and get into the driver's seat, buckle up my belt. I pushed the Kleenex into each nostril and put the screaming mobile into gear, I grab for my coffee to calm my frazzled nerves, crap my coffee is in the mall on the bench.
I screech into Tim's turning the corner almost on two wheels I'm so upset, get to the window, order in a yelling voice to drown out squawker, pull ahead with money in hand.
The poor woman at the window looked at me in complete horror like I had a third eye or had been hit with a bat, sh*t I had forgotten I had shoved Kleenex up my nostrils had blood on my face and had a screaming hysterical baby in a car seat. I think she thought the baby and I had gone ten rounds and I had lost and Jillian was cranked and screaming because she still wanted another piece of me.
Long story short, calmed my nerves with coffee and yes, nursed a very black fractured nose and two dark eyes.
At present the tantrums are not physical now that she has a cute little (meant loud ) voice, she is not so frustrated. Jillian now sticks her tongue out, blows raspberries and says Na Na Na Boo(thanks to her big sister, who by the way has never said this to me)and her most famous line"Bad Mommy". We have tried everything under the sun to curb this rude behaviour but all she does is scream even louder and then in acute little voice and a smile says"Sorry Mom", turns her back and throws a raspberry. AAAAHHHHH.
I am so frustrated, embarrassed, I do not want to even take the child in public at present, thinking that people will take her behaviour as a reflection of how I parent. My hubby takes the who the h*ll cares attitude, I just am at wit's end, HELP!!! Any suggestions out there???


redmaryjanes said...

I am laughing as a kindred spirit. Eli says 'no mommy' all of the time and 'please shut up'. He has also picked up 'die' somewhere and pretends to shoot people. Nice....I don't let him watch anything with shooting. Yes, I can relate to you.
We do time out of his body and toy time out where we take a toy away. It does't really have much effect. Hang in there.

Ms. Dragonfly said...

OMG I think I love you (yes I love many).
I totally can envision you driving with kleenex up your nose and it makes me laugh! And feel better at our 'episodes'. Except I have a 50lb almost 4 year old.
I have no advise except...
blogging. It soothes the soul as it helps you laugh at yourself and gives us all a huge sigh of relief that we aren't the only frustrated irritated bleeding crying mothers out there who are wondering why we aren't 'better' and why are kids are so 'nutty'.
thanks for that.
PS. RMJ my sons FAV word is KILL and DIE too! We ignore it, but it hasn't stopped it for 4 months now and going strong. said...

G-d girl I have no advice. I'm not there yet (not to insinuate that we have no issues--they just haven't materialized fully yet) hopefully I have a little time. Right? Oh, please say I do....

Sam said...

My son (now 10) broke my nose twice. Gotta love those scream-fests! There's just not enough duct tape in this world!!!!

kris said...

Dare I say... roll with the punches?

Diana said...

Take hubby's attitude, really, anyone and everyone who is a GOOD parent will not judge YOU. It's a phase and this too shall pass. I am not there yet either, but I am beginning to see signs. And I teach, control and have respect from the most difficult age group (think grade 8), yet I am fearful of my 2 monkeys hitting that stage.
I believe in "showing" anger in facial expression and tone of voice, yet my girls laugh when I get that really pissed off tone. So? What to do? What to do?

crazylady said...

Timmy's doesn't make enough coffee for this.